Well, day 20 has come and gone. Writing the last few posts was hard, because I had to confront the fact that I hadn’t exercised regularly for longer than is healthy or good for anyone. I feel pretty disgusted with myself. Part of the reason is that I’ve been sick since the middle of the week, but I know that even before that, I was struggling to commit to getting some physical activity at least 4 times a week.
I think it’s part of a larger struggle for me: bursts of productivity followed by periods of lethargy. It’s really strange. I’ll be really productive and energetic and then just feel a slump that can’t be explained. It may be that I haven’t been getting a decent amount of sleep for a period of months now, and that this takes a toll in the long-term but it’s also linked to how I feel. I sometimes feel so emotionally drained that I can barely muster the will do anything at all. Everything’s usually fine once I start, but starting is so incredibly hard.
I feel stupid complaining about how hard it is to start but it’s a fact for me.